We were Constantly at conflict.
But see this happens with an addict.
When he came off his high I would get a black eye.
He said he loved me and didn't mean to hurt me.
I wonder if I should flee.
He is up one day and down the next.
He took his paycheck to go on a 7-day binge and came back like all is well.
What the hell?
This is new to me as I only have a drink on holidays and birthdays
and I won't dare take drugs on any day.
I met and fell in love with a different person.
Why does he want and need his addiction more then he wants and needs me?
He loves that tempting fruit more than me, from that poisonous tree!
So, every day is the Same Vicious Cycle of Addict Love.
A love like a wild roller coaster ride of good times, low times,
struggle, insufficient funds, running away, coming back, and babysitting an adult, so they don't look like an ass in public.
Staying Sane, telling lies about your love to protect and keep your addict love non-public.
An addict love is very intense and mind-numbing, where you want to leave but in the same breath you want to stay and figure out how to make them happy and sober.
You’re constantly walking on eggshells not to aggravate or irritate them when they have a hangover.
It wasn't always this way. They kiss you, they finesse you, and when things are Good they are Amazing, you have the best connection ever!
Happy, Smiling, Kissing, Sheer Bliss, the best addict love ever when the clean and sober stars align!
Addict love can take you to places emotionally that scares the shit out of you.
You love this person you want the best for them. But daily they destroy their life and the lives of those around them. And it's not them, it’s the addiction.
Deep down you know that they are more than their vile addiction.
You try to leave but they plead and beg you to stay because they will get help!
They need you, they can't live without you and then they say, "I'm going to kill myself"!
Of course, you stay so they don't injure themselves.
But they are selfish and only playing the victim role to manipulate and guilt trip you as this is addict love and you become an enabler and stay every time.
When you wake up the next day it will be a re-run of the same addict love episode.
Here we go, re-load and pray they don't explode.
How deep and far are you willing to go and stay for the addict love? Is this love worth it?
"Addiction- When you can give up something any time, as long as it's next Tuesday". Nikki Sixx